Like Drunks in a Gutter, Auto Maker CEOs Will Soon Reform Their Ways

Despite the gloomy headlines and the doomsday one-liners of cable news talking heads, I've never been more optimistic about the future fortunes of the Big Three American auto makers, and especially about their future commitment to manufacturing more socially responsible, environmentally friendly vehicles.

Like drunks lying in a gutter, Big Three CEOs and top managers may finally have hit rock bottom, and be ready... or forced by Democrats and the incoming Obama administration... to admit the errors of their ways.

It's Change or Die for the Big Three Auto Makers
Extremely dire times have finally arrived for General Motors, Chrysler and Ford.

It's change or die... and plenty of Mitt Romney-like rich-guy Republicans are ready for them to die. And as in a fiscal conservative's fondest dream, their great hope is that the United Auto Workers Union ("UAW") would die, too, and new auto companies can be formed using the WalMart model of underpaid, union-free workers.

The problem is, though, that letting these auto makers die now will be catastrophic for the millions of blue collar and middle management workers directly and indirectly employed by these companies.

Rather like the Iraq War, the problems are strategic and caused by short-sighted Generals/CEOs, while the soldiers/workers have performed well, and have borne up heroically under the intense pressures created by careless, well-compensated leadership.

A Greedy Bender of Enormous SUVs and Tricked-out Trucks
In recent decades, the CEOs and management teams of General Motors, Chrysler and Ford have binged on a bender of gas-guzzling, tank-sized vehicles ranging from enormous SUVs to gigantic tricked-out trucks and beyond.

Meanwhile, the Big Three ignored or circumvented, to the very best of their attorney-laden ability, pleas and pressures for smaller, more affordable, more fuel-efficient, and alternative-energy fueled cars.

Their sole goal, of course, was the almighty dollar, without regard for the environment, public health or other societal or moral responsibilities.

But their greedy plan fell apart first, when gas prices soared; second, over the past few years as the middle-class suffered a slow, painful financial descent; and third, when the U.S. economy crashed two months ago.

This week, the millionaire CEOs of the Big Three flew in their expensive private jets to D.C. to plead poverty in front of Congress, and to beg... BEG... for a mere $25 billion, which is less than 3% of the failed, strings-free $770 billion bailout gifted to wealthy U.S. bankers.

This should be a no-brainer YES: Extremely important industry to the U.S. economy, a relatively inexpensive pricetag, a high U.S. unemployment rate that can't afford to go much higher. If this was another Republican-friendly bank asking for more funds, it would already be a done deal, and without all the whining.

The simple truth is this: conservatives and libertarians see this as a golden opportunity to bust the UAW.

Letting the Big Three auto makers die by entering bankruptcy would be unacceptably damaging to the already battered U.S. economy, and both devastating and unfair for millions of workers and their families.

Unacceptable to Let Big Three CEOs Off the Hook
But letting the greedy, ivory-tower cretins who run the Big Three off the hook is equally unacceptable.

Just imagine... these jokers arrived in D.C. without explainable plans for spending the requested $25 billion, without detailed ideas to deal with environmental challenges, without blueprints to stench their cash flow problems. Heck, they even appeared in front of Congress without coherent talking points.

The Big Three CEOs were shocked at being spurned today by the Democratic-led Congress. And so they return empty-handed... and hopefully frightened to their cores.

The thirsty drunkards are lying in the gutter, and no one will give them even a sip of water unless, and until, the drunks change their ways.

And that is where my optimism begins today for General Motors, Chrysler and Ford. AP is reporting:

"... lawmakers have left themselves a contingency plan: Come back to Washington in December for yet another postelection session where they might be able to strike the deal that now seems beyond reach.

"Democratic leaders are planning to gather for an economic conference the week of Dec 8, noted House Majority Leader Steny H. Hoyer."

Congress told the big Three CEOs to come back in December, but only if you come with actual plans. And be prepared to sell them to us, making sure they meet goals and standards of accountability and they address the problems and challenges facing their organizations.

As House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said today, "Until they show us their plans of accountability and viability, we can't show them the money."

George Bush, who detests labor unions for conservative ideological reasons, will lift neither finger nor pen to save the unionized U.S. automakers.

No Choice but to Meet Obama's Plans and Standards
The auto makers, therefore, have no choice but to meet the standards... all standards... required by the Democratic-led Congress, and by inference, the incoming Obama administration.

Contrary to available evidence, I firmly believe that these are smart drunks. And to save their skins, they are about to become reformed drunks.

That forced attitudinal turnaround dovetails quite conveniently with the start of the Obama administration, which simply can't wait to start incorporating the auto industry into its plans to:

• Invest in a clean energy future
• Reduce carbon emissions 80% by 2050
• Support next generation biofuels
• Set America on path to oil independence
• Improve energy efficiency 50% by 2030
• Restore U.S. leadership on climate change

See Obama 101: Energy & the Environment for more about President-elect Obama's specific plans about each of these goals.

Like I said, I've never been more optimistic about the future fortunes of the Big Three American auto makers... assuming they finally get with the program. Since it's do or die, they WILL get with the program, like it or not. The Obama program.

Clearly, it's in Obama's best interest to force reform on U.S. auto makers, rather than face millions more in unemployment lines and a major industry in bankruptcy.

Perfect timing for all... especially for those drunks lying in the last-ditch gutter.

Related Reading

• Obama 101: Energy & the Environment
• Bill Richardson's Plan to Make America a Clean Energy Nation
• StraitsTimes, Nov 20, 2008: Big 3 rescue stalls
• MSNBC, Nov 20, 2008: Why Democrats gave Big Three a reprieve

(Photos taken by David McNew/Getty Images at the Los Angeles Auto Show on Nov 20, 2008: #1 - Volkswagen President and CEO Stefan Jacoby accepts the Green Car of the Year Award for the VW Jetta TDI Clean Diesel car; #2 - A GM Chevrolet Volt electric car is shown.)